Help - My fiance has slept with other girls...

Question:     I have been in a close relationship with God since I was very young, and within this past year God brought somebody amazing in my life.  I met a guy who is not only now my best friend, but we are engaged.  When this guy first came into my life, he had no connection with God what so ever and a very rough life. His mother had been married 3 times and has had 2 accidental children (including him) and his father has been married a few times himself. his parents are 13 years apart, and his oldest sister is 19 and very hard core with today's young society (drugs, drinking, sex).  His younger brother is bipolar, and his youngest sister who is 12 has already been caught sending out inappropriate pictures of herself.  His family life is as rough as it gets. But when I met him he was in pain with his life at the time. He was bullied his whole life in school, and because of this was a pathological liar.  But I of course didn't know any of this about him until we were already best friends, but over time I learned more about him from other sources.  Finally I slowly began to confront him over time.  Of course the first few times I asked all was denied but I never gave up hope. I began to preach to him of the words of God, and take him to church with me. I prayed for him constantly.  Then over time I was blessed with his heart, and from this he fell in tears and admitted his whole background to me. We began to fall in love and over time I  noticed so many changes in him, I'm still thanking God to this day for all that has happened. He admits every lie, he never uses such foul language as he use to, he treats others with kindness instead of such disgusting behavior he use to. And overall, he is slowly developing a relationship with God. I am so proud of how far everything has come, and i  still have hopes for an even better result then what we still have yet to accomplish with his changes. But what I really wanted to ask about is our relationship...I have a  feeling God wanted me to be with him (two months before I met him I had prayed to God if I ever was to be with somebody that he please answer me.) but i  worry about maybe i’m   only telling myself this because i’m in love with this guy. One night we were talking on the phone and i  was telling him how proud i  was of him when he began to break down in tears. I asked him what was wrong and he said "I have something else to admit.." he admitted to me he has been with two women in his life and had taken part in sex with them, one when he was 15 and the other when he was 16. This broke my heart... I didn't know what to think, i thought deep down to myself he is not for me, but yet he begged for forgiveness from me and from God, and I had no idea what to think of any of this. It was such a heart break, and I was consumed by jealousy, but i  loved him and i knew if he was looking for forgiveness then I should forgive him, just as God would..but somehow it still bothers me that we can’t share that gift with each other one day of happiness of waiting for marriage. I still question if i’m really meant to be with him..but i  feel deep down i am, but i   question myself to much. Though I remembered the story in the bible where Jesus told the man to marry a prostitute. My question is..what do you think God would want me to do? what do you think His plan is. Thank you so much.


Answer

As someone who has a strong relationship with God, you know that God forgives us every time we come to Him and confess our sins.  Remember, ALL of us are sinners.  I won’t give you a long story, just a few passages of Scripture, and when you’ve read them, you will know what to do.  Just remember, we are all fallible, sinful humans, and even when we turn away from our sins, confess and ask for forgiveness, we could still fall and sin again.  I’m not saying that he will do the same again, but just giving the warning that it is possible.  You have done everything right up to now, praying for him and giving him to God.  You may be his only way to find God, and so you have a great responsibility to forgive and lead him, but whether you must continue your relationship with him, only you can decide.

 

John 8      3 Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, 4 they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act.5 Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned.   But what do You say?” 6 This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear.
7 So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” 8 And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9 Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. 10 When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours?  Has no one condemned you?” 
11 She said, “No one, Lord.” 
And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” 

Col 3     12 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

 

Mark 11     25 “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. 26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

 

Matt 6     14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

 

God bless as you dedicate your life to Him, and as you make your life decisions!